God, is there any sincerity in this world?
I always disappointed every time I
look for and want to feel in sincerity.
In my working atmosphere, I'm always let down by some people working
without sincerity, making money as the goal of their work in the hope it will
make them happy, so many of them working dishonestly. Taking rights of others
to their interests.
And also I always let down by some
people around me who worship God without sincerity, they become arrogant with
their ritual ceremonies and obediences, to underestimate others who do not
perform it routinely as they did, and even hurt their neighbors who don't even
believe what they believe for, vilifying others and they feel that they have
done things right and assume it is a form of the truly sincere worshippers of
God.
In the study achievement and motivation, I always let down by people who
studied without sincerity. They learning hard and going to farthest way and
places where science was born and discovered, then they made knowledge for
their own purpose, job position, temporary pleasures and make them proud of
what they have achieved, making them to be an educated caste and consider
inferiority to those who did not achieve it.
In love relationship, I also always let down by some colleagues who like
someone without sincerity of love. They looking for material and bodily
pleasures, they like someone for their material appearances and bodily
pleasures, so infinite and endless worldly pleasures that they will move from
one thing to another, one illusion paper money to other delusional quantities,
and they’ve enjoy it and consider it is as love , therefore they are
disappointed, defected, and hurt each other.
Lord, I was disappointed and I feel very sad when writing this, is it right
that there is no more sincere people in this world? As I’ve tried to look for
and observe the current attitude and behavior of the people around me, and the
answer is always the same, and I am even more disappointed because I can’t find
sincerity as what I hope for? Or it is that I've become so arrogant and selfish
for what I am expecting the sincerity from your creatures while I have not been
so sincere to You and to people around me, your creatures?
And now I realized that sincerity firstly will be and could be find within
my self, to be sincerity and present it to the people around me. Presenting it
when I entrusted the responsibility in the occupying a position, when I worship
You, bring it on when I studying and sharing what I’ve got , bring it on when I
select and choose who’s that person that will be run with me as a companion in
my life.
Lord, if someday I have to leave this world, I wish that I leave it with
the hope on the conviction that sincerity is an attribute within my self and I
don't need to look after or expecting from others. Help me to be a sincere
person.
Jakarta
Aug, 9th 2015
Milla Hanifah
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